I Came to Home Education Through Desperation — Here's What It Gave Me

As I was putting up my tent for home education camp this post started to write itself in my head.

Why? Because as I put it up on my own I reflected on how hard putting up a tent used to feel. I would steel myself for the first day. I would drive and juggle excited children, all after packing, tidying and consolidating my business to the point where it could be left. Of course I have young adults now so the dynamic is different. They are more able to help but equally they still disappear into the crowd of people arriving with excitement and jobs to do. Usually unloading the lorry filled with lighting, PAs and staging equipment in their role as tech crew.

So what did I want to share? The life skills I am now grateful for. Some of them hard won. All of them worth it.

Challenging my view of education

I came to home educating through desperation. My son was struggling in the school environment. His mixture of dyslexia and autism meant he was unable to stay regulated and learn in a group of 30 children. He faded before my eyes and became a shell of the boy I knew.

Despite coming from an alternative health perspective I had not considered that education should be viewed in a different way but this is what I was forced to do. After he came out of school I researched endlessly how people learn, what they remember from school and what a flourishing adult truly needs to know. My eyes were opened to a world of engaging stories and possibilities I had not considered. I focused not on the ABCs directly but on what my boys would need to know to have happy and fulfilling lives. When the school flagged my other son's struggles it became a no-brainer to educate him as well they could not provide what he needed, so I would.

Resilience

In 2015 I went to a home education festival having no idea what to expect. It was on the Welsh coast and for the first couple of days we were besieged by a storm, tents ripped down, people abandoning the site and heading for local hotels. We went and sat in a cinema to warm up, then hunkered down in the second-hand tent we had purchased and hoped for the best.

After the rocky start the sun came out and everyone emerged. I remember a neighbouring camper doing Wing Chun. I was surprised to see my chosen martial art and we swapped notes. My youngest joined the football enthusiasts and played from dawn to dusk in his Angry Birds onesie. Perfect for an ADHD child as long as he was regularly fed.

Did the kids all get on? Absolutely not. It was hard to navigate all the different personalities in that far from home setting, not just children but adults too. When we came away it would have been easy to never go back. We were exhausted.

But there were glimmers of something possible that I could not ignore.

My tech-obsessed eight year old was welcomed by the tech crew and created his first lighting set. It was celebrated by the crowd in the marquee with such enthusiasm it made me cry. I went to the conference and watched home educated young adults share their view of their journey and it gave me such hope. These weren't weird kids they were confident adults attending university and starting careers with friends all over the world.

So I trusted my gut and kept going.

Management and leadership

As a self-employed therapist I had no management experience and now I know how to create policies, rotas and manage a team.
As a first aider of over 30 years I had theoretical knowledge but it had never truly been tested. Now that knowledge has been challenged, expanded and consolidated. I volunteered in part to save money but also to contribute to this growing community. Within a couple of years a coordinator was needed and I stepped up, unsure but passionate about offering a safe space not only for my children but for the whole community. From babies in arms to young adults learning to hold their drink and navigate relationships. I figured that one day these would be my children and offering a safe environment to test their limits was important too.

Mentoring

My boys have stepped into tech roles and are performers in their own right and this is in no small way down to the mentors who were other parents willing to share their time and skills. We are a community passionate about the support and opportunities we can provide for young people. My boys have both had several important and influential people in their lives and I have offered the same support in my chosen areas of first aid and Wing Chun.

Community

As a single mother I have raised my children as part of a festival community. On Mother's Day I am not the only mother they acknowledge. They are welcomed not only at camp but into people's homes all over the country. If I need support I have a long list of names I could call just as I am there for them. Through the years we all face challenges, highs and lows and connections come and go. But turning up at the festivals is like greeting a chosen family warts and all.

Has it been hard? Yes.

Has it been worth it? Absolutely.

Did my children have the same academic opportunities as school children? No — they had different opportunities. Not better or worse. I would say the life skills they have now outstrip many of their school-educated friends.

This was so much more than a choice about education. When you raise children in this environment they stay more in touch with their bodies, they are free to ask questions without being inconvenient, they are comfortable talking to all ages and they are adaptable and resourceful. In watching them grow I have also learned to think beyond my previously narrow perceptions of what learning is and what we need to live a happy and fulfilling life.

Your Turn

What skills do you have that were hard won but worth it?
What now looks so easy you take it for granted?
What opportunities have you avoided or put off and where might a yes have led you?